 |
| Source: kazzledazz.com |
By Dominik Marciniak
Translation by Adrian Kołodziński
Friendship is a strong word which carries a huge emotional load with it. People closest and most precious to us, theoritically those, with whom we can talk about anything, anywhere. And most importantly those, who won't turn their backs on us. Or will they? Perhaps this is just a slightly old-fashioned way of treating this notion in regard to the contemporary way of thinking? Personally I'm inclined towards the version in which this word has always been resonant and important, though only for certain people. For others it's been a symbol of something beautiful, despite their blatant misuse of the term.
We, people - we differ in our personalities, temperaments, we are often coming from completely different backgrounds. Some of us require something of a pristine relationship so as to create an emotional bond with somebody, and some just treat it as if it was nothing. More often than not those attitudes have their consequences, in the former case leading to alienation and lonely life, while in the latter, well... Can we surely rely on such people in every situation?
I firmly believe that if a friendship came to an end, then it hadn't started in the first place. A view worthy of an idealist that I supposedly am. Crises in interpersonal relations are normal, but their termination and a realization that we haven't had anything in common with the other person in any way is much more serious. We said grandiose words in vain, perhaps in times of need, or maybe because we had a warped view of reality. Something artificial lasted effectively for a year, two, just to crash and fall afterwards. In the worst case we could've been deceitfully abused and have been serving as a sort of an entertainment, ultimately ending up with the rest of the toys that got boring after a while. There are many possibilities and in my opinion they all rule out the existence of a given friendship. A false relationship instead of a bond, which should last many years.
For many the frequency of contact is incredibly important, but is it truly? A friend isn't a partner, though both have in common the fact that they are with us for our whole lives. With the exception that the former isn't obliged to be always present in our everyday life. It's about contact once a week, month, sometimes even half a year, which brings us utmost happiness. They're the shed tears of woe heard by them, it's the empathy and mutuality. It is also reacting when it is needed. Genuine worry and interest, but surely not just warping the reality. If you truly find a person that close and omnipresent, well... Beautiful. Nothing more, nothing less. Aside from that some people, despite everything, need a relationship on such scale.
Can a letdown, even a gigantic one, doom a relation? For clarity we shall rule out the context of a false relation here. Definitely not such one, here some understanding is enough. From time to time we neglect the things of the highest importance, we're just human. Let's show others some understanding that we often so desire ourselves. Such relationships are fragile, yet undying, we cannot allow trifles and small mishaps to destroy them. Unless we're not able to. Maybe we should think whether it truly was a friendship after all?
With those dearest to our hearts even silence can be golden.
I hate abusing the word "friendship", in my life I've got just four people that I can consider to have one with. I still think that it is much. The rest of the relations are simple, more or less advanced, acquintanceship due to way too big of a mismatch between our minds and souls. You can still count on each other then, but only sometimes, as it is difficult to reach out to somebody radically different from us.
0 comments: